A Family's Guide to Getting Someone Help

Before you say anything

• Pick a moment when the person is sober, rested and not already in an argument. Nothing said during intoxication or a row tends to survive the next morning.
• Decide what you actually want from the conversation. "Agree to see a doctor once" is achievable. "Admit you have a problem and change" is not a conversation, it is a demand.
• Expect denial the first time. It is the normal response, not a refusal forever.

What tends to help

• Talk about what you have seen, not what you have concluded: "you have not slept properly in three weeks" lands better than "you are an addict".
• Use your own worry rather than their failure: "I am frightened" rather than "you are destroying this family".
• Attach the help to something they want — their job, their health, their children, sleeping properly again.
• Make the first step small and reversible. One appointment. You will come with them.
• Be prepared to repeat it calmly across weeks. Persistence works where intensity does not.

What tends to backfire

• Ultimatums you are not able to follow through.
• Public confrontation, or arguing in front of children.
• Covering the consequences — paying the debts, calling in sick on their behalf — which removes the very pressure that eventually motivates change.
• Waiting for "rock bottom". It is not a real clinical concept, and people can die waiting for it.

Look after yourself too

Living with someone else’s illness or addiction is exhausting, and family members frequently develop depression and anxiety of their own. That is worth treating in its own right, not just as a means to helping them.

You are allowed to ask for help for yourself.

Talk to someone who does this every day

A first conversation is free and confidential, and you can have it without the person knowing. Call +91 72669 93399, message us on WhatsApp, or leave your number below.

Frequently asked questions